Gibberish

It's built within my spirit,
Sometimes it takes me down,
Some other times it soothes me,
Relentlessly I yearn.
I fight it with all powers,
Can't let it overcome
The unclear reflection
Of whom I have become.
I need to scream it louder,
But it would be abrupt,
My soul might just start running,
And I cannot have that.
Don't want to let it cover
The state I have achieved;
Although it plays me, although it aches,
I need to just ignore it,
So I can come back home.
I 'd rather not accept that,
Too cruel I prove to be,
I'm mesmerized with fear,
But there's nothing else to do.
I'm not conceiding, not giving up,
It's an epiphany I know I didn't need;
There's enough strength to move the shadow,
More than enough to go ahead,
Just that, sometimes, caught in the flurry,
(I) Don't want to know what's going on.