5...5...5...5...5...5...5...5...5...5...5...5...5...

In my room... a room I could not stand for 5 months, always
trying to get out of it. I'm crying... I need to cry, as I'm realizing more and more that it's over. One week left... By this time next
Monday I'll have all my luggage prepared... package sent... goodbyes said... makeup running down my face from so many tears... a bigger heart, although it will feel broken for a long time... hopes... a shadow of enthusiasm for going home... sadness... richness... why does it have to end?
No, I already know the answer... this is not real... what we lived here it's not what real life means... and yet, life is all about this... about feeling, about being speechless, about living each moment as if it were the last... and the last moments have arrived.
I wasn't expecting this... I thought I knew how to live my life, how to accept things I didn't really want, but came with the package... I had come here to study, to improve my Spanish, to do what I've been doing for some time now... just to get by. I didn't know anything... do I know anything now? I have no clue, but there are so many things I feel...
I knew it would be very difficult at the end... I didn't know I'd get to love the three of you so much, to feel so lost at the end... the end... it just feels like it, I know it's not the end... and I'm not lost... I'm more aware of my path than I've ever been, although there's still so much to discover... I know that's the charm of life, but it feels kind of difficult to look at it that way right now...
I'm sad, and yet happy... sorry for not being able to live my happiness with you... I walk down the street, I see the trees, and I start crying. Someone comes to say "hello" and I almost break down... it was all like this...
That's all...