Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Durere...

Iata ca si premierul Calin Popescu Tariceanu s-a imbolnavit. Pardon, si-a intortocheat ligamentele pe la genunchi... se mai incurca itele si pe la case mai mari! Daca adaugam si operatia de menisc, rezulta vizita la Paris! Suferinta acestui domn imi ofera inspiratia pentru a crea versuri, imi atinge cea mai sensibila fibra, imi bulverseaza sentimentele, ma face sa rad si sa plang in acelasi timp... cer intermitenta de un minut, sa-mi sterg lacrimile, ca deja mi s-au aburit ochelarii! Auuuuuuu... "amintirile ma chinuiesc, amintirile ma rascolesc".... ma duc cu gandul la presedintele Traian Basescu, cum nu am scris nimic despre operatia de hernie de disc la care a fost supus cu cateva luni in urma la Viena :( ! Nu stiu daca aveam blog atunci, dar asta e un alt motiv pentru care sufar acum... cata desconsiderare din partea mea! Ar rezolva ceva autoflagelarea? Sunt dispusa sa fac orice pentru a-mi recapata linistea... nu, nu, iar dau dovada de siniubire. Mai punem 13 lovituri, sa fie cu noroc.

Banuiesc ca presedintele tarii si mana sa... (era sa zic "dreapta") nu ar putea fi operati in spitalele din Bucuresti, cu atat mai putin in cel din Constanta. Nu stiu daca le-ar merge conectia la internet, ca am inteles ca doar de asta si de televiziune au nevoie pentru a conduce tara. Sa nu mai vorbim despre gandacii care ar putea intra in computer si cine stie ce fisiere importante ar face sa dispara, daca nu chiar l-ar strica de tot.

Mai fac si eu haz de necaz; ii doresc "insanatosire grabnica" primului-ministru, orice problema de sanatate trebuie luata in serios, dar ma deranjeaza si pe mine unele lucruri...

Friday, October 20, 2006

Just Another Fairytale

http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/1003/p01s01-ussc.html

And here come my comments on the raids that took place in the States, especially in Georgia, during the last months. The Bush administration decided, once again, to prove that they never say the same thing twice and that they'll do exactly the opposite (if you're confused about what I've just written, trust me, I'm even more confused about Mr. Bush).
So... our story begins with these Charming Princes in white clothes and black cars who discovered that there was a small town in Georgia, called Stillmore (the name says it all, the town is going to remain still forever more), where some extremely dangerous monsters (or aliens, same thing) were stealing the jobs, the laughter and the children of good ol' Americans. These being said, the C.P.-es' decided to exterminate the horrendous invaders, be it by sending them back to their planet or by transforming them into monkeys and making them live in trees.

Some quote I can't use.

As we go further with our story, we discover that these ogres actually have a name: they're called Hispanics; it might not be "politically" correct, but who cares? Now, after all the brave actions of the C.P.-es', the dwarves a.k.a. the good ol' Americans discovered the courage to demand what they believed to be their rights, that is to work less and get paid more. What they didn't know was that the mother-factory had only so many berries that she could give the dwarves, and that one day she might go bankrupt. Oh well!

Some quote I can't use.

The mother-factory was brought in for questioning, as the C.P.-es couldn't believe that the one who had created them would turn into a traitoress and would harbour such fiends. She sweared on the Bible, on the fairytales book and on the stepmother's apple that she had no idea those monsters were coming from a different planet and didn't have a working permit. Maybe it was her old age that made her forget about her two sisters, the language barrier and the fake Green Card designer.

Some quote I can't use.

Now it's time to get serious, so I'll start by using one of my favourite lines: LOL? The good ol' Americans are those who feed the aliens? I guess they must be right, it couldn't possibly be the laughable salaries they receive after working for more than 12 hours a day and doing twice the work a dwarf would allow himself do. How could they know that the ogres buy their hormone-fed chicken that would otherwise turn green and their 2 liter soda bottles that cost 80 cents and contain more chemicals than a tube of hair dye? I also have to admit that the good ol' Americans teach those extraterrestrial beings how to live with 10 other people... oh, excuse me, I meant creatures, so that they can save some money to send back home to their families; the dwarves also teach them how to hope that the promises they keep getting would become reality sooner or later... the outcome is not even important. A wild thought just crossed my mind: could they actually be talking about college education? No, that must be the ice tea I've just had talking. Although, between the infernal work schedule, the low salaries and the fake social number, I'm sure the ogres manage to find the means to go to University and pay $10.000 to $20.000 a year. The employment issue... indeed, it's the dwarves who hire the giants (no pun intended). Why? Out of the goodness of their hearts, of course, not because the latter would do the good ol' Americans' dirty work. As we can see, the wonderful town of Stillmore is now deserted and many factories will have to close their doors; nevertheless, the important thing is that the dwarves got to make their point. Whoever finds out what that point is and its use, please let me know.

Final thought: President Bush says he wants to offer immigrants the posibility to obtain a working permit for a limited number of years (3, as far as I know) so that they can pay taxes; after this period, they'd have to go back to their home countries. Of course, they would not be allowed to work as doctors or teachers... Mr. Bush knows the limits of most immigrants and, even if they were to desire more than a waiter spot in a 65th Street restaurant, they wouldn't have enough time to prepare for such a position. The only problem I see is this: many illegal aliens would love to pay taxes, but in exchange for a Green Card, not under these conditions. To sum up: they would have to work for the lowest possible salary (yeah, I guess they'd get 1 or 2 extra dollars, but that would still be the minimum possible pay), pay taxes just like everyone else, have no medical insurance, and go home, 3 years later, with nothing else except for a broken back and broken dreams. How can I keep saying that the American President doesn't know what he's doing?!

P.S. I hope I didn't break too many laws by writing all this... keeping my fingers crossed :) .