Just Listen

Tonight we were invited to dinner over some of our friends' house. We had a great time in the begining, but the evening didn't end as well as we would've hoped. Somehow, the discussion about parents and children-in-law came up. Delicate issue, isn't it? To be honest, I'd never seen it that way... until I got married... I always thought that by making this step you'd gain a second family; it's true that that was not what I had seen at home, but this was one of the main reasons that made me feel hopeful, as awkward as it may sound. I usually seem to try to find hope in the least obvious "places".
Parents-in-law are very important to me; it is true that the two main pieces of the puzzle are represented by him and her, yet parents and their acceptance of the new family member play an important role in a couple's life. I don't agree with those who say that nothing else matters besides the love between two people, that no one else should interfere. As long as they know their limit, mothers and fathers have all the right, if not even the duty, to try and find out for themselves if the other person is what their own child needs, without forgetting to take their time to listen to their offspring. Parents are older, wiser, have more life experience and are the ones to know their son's or daughter's character best. We can be subjective at times, when "blinded by love"... by the way, I detest this expression! Although... unless we're talking about love at first sight (which I wouldn't exactly call "love", but what do I know?), you fall in love with someone for who they are... at first you analyze them, to say so, from a distance, balancing with a pretty objective eye their qualities and faults, and only after make the jump. Nevertheless, a second opinion might come in handy... and not from anyone, but from your parents; that is, again, depending on the kind of relationship you've built with them. They might see things that you don't, might ask you questions you hadn't thought of... I'm not saying it always helps or that you should always be running to them, but... sometimes there is a "but".
How awful would it be to later have to choose between your parents and your spouse? Why should such a choice even come up? These are supposed to be the 3 most important people in your life, and there's no comparing them. Well, when distance comes in between families and parents don't get a chance to know their son or daughter-in-law, conflicts may show up. Miles can represent a shelter, might make you think that their acceptance is not so important... I believe that's wrong. There are not many things that hurt more than being caught in the middle, and this could end up by ruining your marriage. Even though they are far away, there will be periods of time when parents and children, along with their better half (supposedly) will get together and it is vital that these moments be peaceful and maybe even reassuring.
Many more things I'd like to write, but I'll stop here... too long of a message; I'm only going to pinpoint the main idea: just listen... no need to take action, but at least listen, wherever you may be.